1 year later... (July 9)

Today is the 1 year anniversary of Wes' mother's death. It's been a hard weekend, and a hard day. It still doesn't seem real to me a lot of the time.

I've been thinking about the last few days we spent with her, how difficult it was to see her body deteriorate so quickly, and also some of the unexpected special and sacred moments we had with her in her final days.

It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about my strong husband, having to say good-bye to his own mother (not having yet reached his 30th birthday). I think about how he must have felt sitting with her alone in the hospice, feeling her ice-cold limbs, giving her one last kiss on the forehead, re-assuring her that "it's OK to go", turing the light out and closing the door behind him....just a few hours before her body would shut down completely.

I know Wes would tell you that time has not healed his pain. Rather, it has only made it worse.  A lot has happened in this year and it's been difficult not being able to tell her what is going on in our lives and and to not experience any of this with her. That being said, we know she is on the other side with her husband, cheering their kids and grandkids on and watching over us. We know this, but it's still hard.

We put a picture of Olivia and her Grandma Pitcher next to Olivia's bed. She sees it every day and we tell her who she is. We look forward to Olivia and all of our children getting to know who their Grandma and Grandpa Pitcher are through stories we can tell and pictures we can show. They are wonderful people who have left an amazing legacy for their posterity.

It was nice to be with family today. We got to join Brandon, Stephanie, Vanessa, and Zach for dinner at the Olive Garden. And, Tara recently shared a very special message and a great reminder that I want to pass along! Thanks Tara! :)

"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other,that we are still.....Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well."