but, if there was ever a time I need people to comment...NOW is the time! :)
How do I have more balance in my life? How have YOU found balance in your life?
I love being a stay-at-home mom, but I feel like every second of the day is filled up with taking care of my kids and husband....and I'm NEVER caught up on what NEEDS to be done....and rarely do things just for me....because I don't have the time to.
Between keeping up the house, budgeting, organizing, grocery shopping, menu planning, engaging children, changing diapers, drafts with Olivia, vacuuming, story time, laundry, church responsibilities, making lunches, cooking dinners, making dr appointments, dentist appointments, bathing kids, running errands, singing time, etc, etc.....
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
How do you balance life to be able to fit in a little "me" time?
Seriously, I want to know.
:)
4 comments:
It is difficult with little children to find time for you but I don't know that it changes a lot even when they get older. That is not to say that life will leave you behind because you have children. Some things that I thought of were: Decide whether this is once a week, once a month, etc and get a baby sitter or exchange times with another mom and go do something for yourself or just sit back and read a book, whatever makes you happy. I know this can be difficult and could be expensive so that is why you need to decide how often it will happen. Of course it means that you will have to take someone else's children and that might not be a plus.
Get up a bit earlier for some quiet time or use the time for you when the kids are asleep.
I think the best thing to do is to find things that you love to do and then involve the kids in it. IF you are interested in history then take the kids and go to a museum, or cook some food with them that comes from a country you are interested in. You are learning and doing something you like but you are also sharing it with someone else. You have listed things like singing time. If you like to sing then think of it as an opportunity to sing, (something you like to do) but now you have someone to do it with. I know this sounds cliche but it really is attitude. Make the things you are doing the things you enjoy doing. My grandmother use to sing to us when she was doing dishes or making supper. We would laugh and dance around and she would teach us and it was a time for her that was her time. She loved to do it and we were having fun so she was having fun.
Establish a quiet time. It might take some time with Olivia since children have a hard time being quiet and still but they can learn. It might only be for 10 mins. It is still your 10 mins. Find something that she can do or put on a TV program and then you do something just for you for 10 mins.
If you have a date night with your husband then plan with him for you to have a date night once a month with yourself, let him baby sit and then you do something you want to do. You might still be at home but he is to look after the kids and you get to have the night or day off.
I promise I will comment....I just need to think about it for a few! Love ya!
I agree with Monica about a babysitting break! It can do wonders...
I think you need to determine first what kind of "me" time you want and how much of it and decide if it's a good balance, then try all the tricks of the trade to make it work. For instance: doing chores during the day with the kids (even though it might take twice as long!) rather than at night so that you can have some time at night and chore time counts as time spent with kids; co-ordinating bedtimes if the kiddies have different schedules; have story time or tv time per Monica's suggestion and eventually it will become routine; I often start a craft with Vanessa and then she finishes it on her own and that buys me a little time; or sometimes send her to her room to play for a bit which she actually loves; set up playing distractions beside you and have "me" time with your kids! like singing time in the kitchen while doing dishes, or even dancing time; once when I was almost done a book Vanessa really really wanted to play with me, so we decided to play a computer race car game. I played a few turns with her, and then I just sat with her while SHE played and I finished my book! (with an occasional pause to cheer her on or celebrate a win) Vanessa just really likes it when I watch her doing things whether I'm involved or not so this was a win-win for both of us.
I think too sometimes we forget in the moment that it's fleeting! Eventually Olivia will be in school and then there will be more alone time, BEFORE that Aubrey will get to an age where she and Olivia can entertain themselves! That's where Zach and Vanessa have FINALLY arrived and it sometimes buys me even 3 hours a day! of course that's often time to get more projects and chores done...but then it takes less time. And it's okay to let chores go! Sometimes the dishes stay dirty for a while, or the sheets don't get changed as often, oh well! You have young children!
Up until this point in time (where Zach can now play with Vanessa NICELY) the only time I had "me" time was for a little bit in the evening (usually if I let housework go), and then if I got a babysitter (which sometimes is trading with a friend, sometimes paying a babysitter, or sometimes even saving up a little and using my friend's dayhome - because her daughter is Vanessa's best friend so it's really like an extended playdate!)
oh, and I just remembered too: Daddy does bathtime 9 times out of 10 and often vacuums with the kids, which is a huge help. AND on Sundays while Zach naps Daddy takes Vanessa for 1-on-1 time and they usually bake. That gives me quite a lot of time which is nice.
That's my two cents - hope some of it helps?
Why did it take me so long to comment? Because on many days, I feel the exact same way you do. It can be so challenging to have time to do much of anything, even when it feels like there is everything to do.
Here are some things that I do to help me through the week.
- Planning! I have a planner/day timer and every morning I write down what I need and want to get done for that day. We have to wear so many hats - Mom, wife, house keeper, church calling, ect. so having ONE place where all my info is kept is key. Being in the Relief Society presidency, I NEED this because I have so much that needs to be done on a time line. Also, when I write down what I want/need to do, it helps to me see if it is even realistic. Its easy to say in my head "I need to do 2 loads of laundry, wash the dishes, sweep, mop, and sort Nola's toys" but then as I look in my planner and see that I also have to call 3 people for RS, take Robbie to the Dr and Doug is going to be working late that day, it helps me to see that I probably wont be getting it all done. So if I cant get the laundry done today, I will write it in my planner for the following day so it still gets done.
- Me time. I know, it sounds so difficult, but it doesnt have to be. For me, almost everyday when Doug gets home from work, I go and have a bath. It doesn't matter whats going on or even if I already showered that day. My bath time is my quiet time each day that keeps my head on strait. I have also been taking an exercise class. Every thursday night, Doug stays home with the kids and I go out to my fitness class. Its nice to do something for me, get our some of my frustrations through exercise and get home just in time to put the kids to bed. Like previously mentioned, there is a 'price' with this, because Doug has his 'me time' too, so I have one day a week where it's just me and the kids ALL DAY. Those days can be very trying, but I know my beak is coming.
I hope these tips can help. We as women have so much to do and put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything perfect and with a smile on our face. A girlfriend shared a quote with me earlier this week and it has helped me prioratize a little bit better. When you are trying to figure something out, ask yourself,
"Will this really matter in a year?"
Does it matter if the dishes dont get done? Or if we miss a church activity? In a year, will we even remember? On the other hand, if we don't take care of yourselves now, if we don't take the time to enjoy our children now, will we remember or will it affect in a year? It just might.
You are doing a great job!! Being a woman is difficult, but also so rewarding. I am sending you my love!
Jess :)
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